開心指數??

今日新聞透視講 "開心指數" ...

開心指數 = 天生性格 * 40% + 後天環境 * 20% + 個人情商 * 40% ...

節目一開始... 只提股市,樓市,物價,人工 ... 全部環繞著 錢 一個字 ... 初頭諗 , 有錢自然開心 d ... 應該無錯 ... 但係會唔會咁 膚淺呢??

之後... 講到 家人, 健康 ... 等等 無價 的東西 ... 這裡諗 , 果然係新聞透視 ! 但好可惜 ... 唔夠深入探討呢...


今年 ... 香港人開心指數又再下跌 .. 究竟係咩原因 ??

股市曾經在這一年創新高 ... 樓市向上 ... 明年加薪 ... 只係物價貴了點 ... 股市調整了一點... 但我覺得這些因素不是最有影響力... 反而是 ... 97 到依家 ... 香港沒有大轉變, 香港人沒有新刺激 ... 悶了便不開心吧 .... 變了的 , 只是天氣熱了 ... 空氣污濁了點吧...


唉 . . . 其實, 講到最尾, 一睇方程式, 快不快樂, 全因由你.

超英趕美?

今日看 2007國事回顧 , 10月 A+B 股 + 港股 的 市值 , 大過 london 市值 , 緊次於 new york 呢 !!

但這 entry 不是說股, 是說回顧.

又一年了... 一個 sem 的完結, 一個考試的完結.


這一年, 去了英國及泰國, 花廢不少... 而且, 多了時間留意經濟, 也多了時間賭股... 花廢很大呢 ... 花的除了金錢, 還有時間及精神... 不過, 真的更看清楚自己, 更能看到自己eq有多低..嘿嘿

話雖如此, 時間畢竟花了 ... 很自然, 要從另一方面找時間來交換...

換了的, 可能就時我讀書的時間吧...

這一年, 實在覺得自己頹廢! 什麼什麼一年大計, 跟本行不通... 時間又不是花在無謂地方, 卻就是不夠時間... 足足一米高的書山, 還有很遠的路途方可征服 -.-"

成績如何呢??? 不知道, 但心知自己今年是沒有盡力..


我以前曾經很自豪的跟人說, 我有很多時間, 因為我不用拍拖 .. 但就算是現在, 拍不拍拖也不夠時間... 為何會這樣!?? 摸了幾天腦子 ... 可能是自己懶散了吧.. 又或者, 是老了? 其實, 是我不懂平衡吧...


拍拖..? 女人...? 曾經很想找一個陪自己... 曾經很想自己一個不想煩... 其實, 是我不懂得平衡吧... 有人會為女人做出任何事... 有人會因為女人而失去一切... 現在呢一刻的我, 可能以經當女人是男人一樣了, 全都是朋友, 簡簡單單, 不是幾好嗎??

不去強求,不去逃避,不極端... 可能就是我最想做到呢....


最近, 一位親人住院, 不知為何有種感覺... 很想回家陪家人... 究竟這是不是我自己的良心責備呢? 還記得幾個月前, 連續兩個月沒跟家人一起吃飯呢 ... 現在,除了要跟朋友兄弟一起, 總會回家吃飯呢...

忽然, 又一年

Person of the year 2007 : President Vladimir Putin.

還想起, 2006 是 you 呢 ...


今年, 好像沒上一年那麼有癮 ...

06 年 是 youtube, myspace, facebook, secondlife 等 科網 發威年呢.... 1997 科網 大平反 !

今年, 除了 sub-prime, 就唔覺有什麼大大件事...



我自己呢 ?? 一事無成依舊在 .. 還盼明年搞出事來 .. (繼續的不切實際 -o-")

cap and trade future index

這一篇只是小弟 發花癲之說 ...

新華網: 2007年聯合國氣候變化大會在"妥協中"閉幕 ... 即係 未解決 !!

大家都知道, 京都議定書, 旨在 減低 溫室氣體 排放量 ... 實行方法就是 cap-and-trade. 詳情 睇 wiki la ~

但過左咁多年 ... 話晒 由 簽到依家 都有 10 年 la ... 成效又有幾大呢 ??

post-kyoto 係六月 G8 開始傾喇 .. 但係 d 美國佬 又點會咁順攤呢 .. 要減都緊係拉埋 阿爺 同 印度友 一齊 減啦 ... 阿爺 同 印度友 , 當然 大大隻字 , 係額頭寫 "我是發展中國家" , 唔係唔減, 要減就俾d著數黎先啦 ^^

好喇, 到左上星期, 聯合國氣候變化大會 ... 歐洲佬 d 富戶大戶 ... 減多少都唔太影響佢地 GDP , 無關痛癢... 但係 美國佬 同 日本仔 一聽到要減 25% 至 40% ... 屈指一算, 唔見幾個 % GDP , 打死都唔制 ! 阿爺 今次 仲醒 , 拉埋 一大班 "發展中" 朋友 , 大大聲聲話 : "我們可以減, 但需要技術支援". 阿爺仲要係 17大報告 講到明 :

「加快轉變經濟發展方式，推動產業結構優化升級。這是關係國民經濟全局緊迫而重大的戰略任務。要堅持走中國特色新興工業化道路，堅持擴大國內需求特別是消 費需求的方向，促進經濟增長由主要依靠投資、出口拉動向依靠消費、投資、出口協調拉動轉變，由主要依靠第二產業帶動向依靠第一、第二、第三產業協同帶動轉 變，由主要依靠增加物質資源消耗向主要依靠科技進步、勞動者素質提高、管理創新轉變。發展現代產業體系，大力推進信息化與工業化融合，促進工業由大變強， 振興裝備製造業，淘汰落後生產能力；提升高新技術產業，發展信息，生物、新材料，航空航天、海洋等產業；發展現代服務業，提高服務業比重水平；加強基礎產 業基礎設施建設，加快發展現代能源產業和綜合運輸體系。確保產品質量和安全。鼓勵發展具有國際競爭力的大企業集團。」 「完善基本經濟制度，健全現代市場體系。堅持和完善公有制為主體、多種所有制經濟共同發展的基本經濟制度，毫不動搖地鞏固和發展公有制經濟，毫不動搖 地鼓勵、支持、引導非公有制經濟發展，堅持平等保護物權，形成各種所有制經濟平等競爭、相互促進新格局。深化國有企業公司制股份制改革，健全現代企12業 制度，優化國有經濟布局和結構，增強國有經濟活力、控制力、影響力。深化壟斷行業改革，引入競爭機制，加強政府監管和社會監督。加強建設國有資本經營預算 制度。完善各類國有資產管理體制和制度。」

阿爺心諗: 減啦減啦 , 我地要 技術 , 我地 仲要 追英趕美 , 愈減得多愈好, 我地要 番鬼佬技術 .

其實 ... 如果真係想 大家 有著數 , 仲要 齊齊減排 , 好簡單!

黎一個 cap and trade future index !! 石油有期指, 股市有, 金銀銅鐵都有 ... 點解唔可以 將 排減 金融化 ??

國與國之間 cap and trade , 太少野喇 ... 應該 玩盡d , 公司同公司玩 cap and trade .... 世界各國立例, 行業 制定 排放量. 要是 a 公司 排得多 , 就要問 b 公司買 排放量. 然後 將 排放量 金融化, 搞個 排放 期指 ... 市場 自由 "炒" 賣 ... 咁樣, 企業間仲唔 減得就減, 節省成本 ^^? GDP 未必會大減 , 因為 減成本 不 代表 搵少左錢 , 可能仲好左 ... 呢樣唔清楚 . 但係, 市場多樣野炒, 一定 對 GDP 有幫助 =D

一舉兩得 .. 掂!

does hong kong really die from sharing??

Question: does hong kong die from sharing ideas and collaborating??

Answer: nope.

today, just went to barcamp852. people shares their ideas and even their demos. it's nice! although they claim the conference an unconference, but it's really well organized ^^ cool !! "Just In Time" organized conference .. a nice experience ..

短暫的解脫

畢竟, 今天總算 "交齊功課"...

沒有東西要趕的日子, 又回來了...

空閒時做些什麼好?? 當然是看書...

每晚回家, 看到自己的檯頭... 足一米高的書山, 就知自己多懶散了 -.-"

停了看書一個月了 -.-... 太忙吧???

lol... excuse... i know. (罪證)

他畢業了

兩年前, 我對他在這行的認識不深, 我覺得可以追得上他.. 我發力的追

一年前, 我對他認識深了, 知道他做過了些什麼.. 我覺得跟他距離愈來愈遠.. 開始放慢腳步

這一年, 我好像停了, 沒有再追了 ...


他 畢業了. 見他跟家人慶祝的時間, 開心得很. 我很想畢業, 很想比他做得更好.

我不可以再停下來

你有沒有心沉一沉的感覺?

突然... 心沉一沉...


我在做什麼??

一至五, 朝九晚六, 在做些什麼?

又一個 sem ... 又係好累的一個 sem...

今個 sem , 因為 placement, 讀少書... 但仍然好累 ...

19 credit + oss ... no less , no more.

我發覺自己開始又變了 ...

由喜歡寫code, 到不喜歡寫
由不喜歡寫doc, 到喜歡寫...

由亂用 design pattern, 到開始識用...


由 一日 hea 到 另一日 , 到 一日忙到後兩日


一切一切 , 變得很快, 亦過得很快 ...

快要.. 考試了 ... 還要去泰國呢 =D

嫦娥 - 繞

有相睇喇 !!!

嫦娥一號好野!! 中國好野 !!


另外 ... 仲同法國佬 deal 左野 ~~

趕美趕美 ~~

reality?

watching the movie? no good.
playing in the movie? cool!!

Call of Duty 4 .. ROCK!!!

時間, 過得太快? 還是太慢?

星期一, 跟同事說早晨. 他說, 現在才星期一, 還要多久才星期五? 唉. 我笑一笑回應一句, 係啦.

星期五, 跟同一同事說早. 他回說一聲早. 我笑一笑, 星期五了. 他哈哈的笑了兩聲.

9 x 5 ... 45 個 man hour... 究竟是長, 還是短?

我覺得實在是太短 ... 45 man hours 事實上做不到什麼大事... 但可以做很多小事 ...



當我做大project... 只會愈做愈無癮．．．　有癮無癮還要做呢 ....

但做小project... 又有什麼可以做出來呢?


我犯賤嗎 ^^?

別要太忙?

我發覺... 我體質... 早已下降
看了症... 得到是... 別要太忙

病左-.-" 醫生叫我休息.... 就係咁... 呢排玩多左...

production rate 急速下降.... 好唔慣 -o-

人在江湖, 身不由己

接了這麼多的 job ...

今日又有人搵我接 job ...

所謂 ... 出得黎行, 預左要還 ... 差不多是時間還債


身不由己...

嫦娥奔月

繞, 落, 回 ... 中國 加油 !!! 趕上世界 !! 超越美國 !!

秋月

近幾日, 當我每晚帶著疲於奔命的身軀回家時, 總會向天一望...


一個 沒有 雲, 沒有 星, 只有一輪孤月的天空 .... 實在可怕....


秋天 ... 實在悽涼 ...

還是 夏天 , 滿天星宿好 ....

涼風有信.. 秋月無邊 啊~

代表人物：君士坦丁二世（希臘國王）

近日, 小弟在 flysforum post 左個 無聊 生日人格 post ... 惹來一輪爭論 ... 有人說好準, 有人說好唔準 ... 其實我開 post , 係因為我覺得 全中 -.-"

喜歡解決問題，也喜歡幫人解決問題；思想敏銳，反應快速，喜歡變化和接受挑戰；個性複雜，相當情緒化。
優點是具有創新能力，非常獨立，喜歡為人解決困難。缺點是太喜歡挑剔，愛管別人閒事，喜歡把責任往自己身上扛。

恆指人生

life is like hsi, sometimes raise rapidly, sometimes drop suddenly...

and .. most of the time fluctuates.

green world , green life

blog action day ^^"

same world, same dream ... Make the world Green!

money for 2050

this morning, i read a passage from Time. it talks about global warming again. it states a study that in 2050, even though we reduce the co2 emission, there will be still around 40% of ice melt in the arctic. i wonder, am i earning money to pay for the air-condition fee in 2050?

與友談

今晚實在好野! 無端端同某一 brother 講過去與將來...

我問 brother , 你第日想做乜
brother 答, 一定唔做 bank (心諗... 身同感受... 但小弟現在走投無路的在某bank打工)
我再問 , 咁你想搞乜
brother 答, 玩startup
我問, 唔怕辛苦咩?
brother 答, 如果係自己startup, 又如何 (語氣俾我係到寫重左 =D 心諗... 小弟都曾同某師兄講過, 我一係讀書,一係搵人一齊搞startup)

將來講完 =D

講過去 ...
我話, brother 你有錢,乖仔,有學識,運動健將,上報紙,有家底...等等等等... 做咩唔識番個女仔呀?
brother 答, 咪玩啦, 我同你差唔多咁多野搞, 邊有時間... (心諗... 真的嗎?還是你有其他野想做左先?)

- - -

最近, bank 同事講開 有人離職... 第一句都是說 "忍夠辭職" ... 但之後總會講句 ... 男人... 緊係要 癲 一兩次 .. 闖一闖 ...

事實上, 我曾經 癲過一次 ... 還跌得很痛 ... 不過, 我唔怕再發癲 ... 唔知有無機會同 brother 一齊癲 =D

漫長的九月...

這個九月, 比之前的 暑假漫長得多 ...

然而.. 我只是轉了公司, 其他的沒有大改變...

但, 為何感覺這個九月時間多了很多??

可能是我錢花多了吧 ... T_T

給自己的後記..

看一些事, 初頭的印象大多是不好的...

因為找壞處總會比找好處來得易.

所以, 很多時便會因為第一個感覺所"蒙騙", 因而生了厭惡感, 失去一個緣份.

其實, 要真正去了解一些事, 不去花些工夫研究, 總不會找到些有趣之處.

情是何物 - 何炘基

今天, 貪婪的我, 得到了很多.

首先是 何校長 的 親筆贈書, 其次是 一餐 自助餐 及 一口白酒.

=D

由中學開始, 到cciv , 大多數提到中國藝術的; 不是什麼什麼很難捉到的思想, 就是什麼什麼很久遠的歷史. 沒大趣!

今夜, 獲邀到 城大沙龍 ... 一睹 Richard Ho 同 Horace Ip 的演說風彩. 很有趣!

他們談的都是, 書畫.

不是談什麼思想什麼歷史, 他們在談科學.

什麼是線, 什麼是色, 什麼是力, 什麼是什麼... 解釋得淋漓盡致. 有意思!

終於感受到 applied science 的有趣之處 =D

- - -

線是光暗面間的 "幻覺"
色是四方八面的 "觸角"
力是潛在意識的 "感覺"

一切一切, 發自於心; 只靠模仿, 靠不得.
情是何物? 發自於心.

some words from Steve... @ Stanford 2005

"I still love what I did..."

"Don't lose faith ... "

"The only things that kept me going is I love what I did"

"You've got to find what you love"
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do; if you havn't find it yet, keep looking and don't settle"

I'm sure, I'm still in love!

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living in someone else life"

9月10日, 晴 . 無事

一年前要說的話, 我沒有說出來
一年後, 我終於有勇氣說了.

I promise, I will never ever betray myself.

"筆死筆還在" . . . 是死了便是死了, 不要騙自己.

南山聚

南山聚的一刻... 彷彿是把腦裡不愉快的事完全忘記, 換來不斷的歡笑,不斷的口水, 及 31 寸肚腩


到家, 不愉快的感覺還在.

what is research?

what is research??

am i going on the right track??

actually, i dunno what is it...

if i have a chance to go research, will i get it?

but... at least i know, i must fight for the chance first!

it's pretty cool!

i think, i already achieved a little part of my dream...
(dun ask my dream here, ask in person; of course, i won't tell everybody)

take a look at here ^^ http://stuk2007.blogspot.com/

at the beginning, some buddies leave message because someone ask them to do.

at last, some buddies leave message because they really want to do.

i figured out what i want to do this year..

last night, i talked to my dearest friend. i dunno why i speak about myself a lot. when i speak, i didn't hide myself.

at last, i figured out what i want to do in this year, and even for the rest of my life.

I, have a dream. I want to make my dream come true.

利達 張樹鴻的離世

我不認識 利達 張先生... 只是今早看報紙, 見到了他的名字...

http://comment.news.163.com/news_guonei6_bbs/3LPLB88Q0001124J.html

這是一篇張內地朋友的文章... 看了之後, 加上報紙的報導... 讓我覺得張生是位十分可敬的人...


輕輕的我走了, 正如我輕輕的來. 不應該在 再別康橋上出現, 應該在 佛學 裡出現才對...

人出生便是輕輕的來. 而張先生的離世, 正是輕輕的走. 公司倒了, 錢財散了, 人亦去了.



張生可敬的地方, 不只是對員工好, 而是他的責任感, 他的灑脫, 他的使命感...

為何是使命感???


或許, 他在世的使命, 就是建一間公司, 照顧一班員工. 當公司完了, 他使命亦完了. 事實上, 他不是輕輕的走了... 而是帶走了很多員公的 淚.

张生走了.突然想哭.我不知道我的明天在那里!八年了.在那个厂做了八年了.
习惯了那个月在固定的日期领取工资.习惯了在中秋节收到发放的月饼.习惯了张生每年组织的年终晚会.习惯了每年不忙的时候全厂分批旅游.习惯了在开工的时候拿到红包.习惯了周六加餐的鸡腿和水果.然而,现在随着张生的逝去.将一切更改.
工厂还是那个工厂.但我们不知道我们的明天在那里.很多女工都哭了.张生其实是一个好老板.从来不欠员工一分钱的工资从来不迟发一天的工资.从来加班费都是按国家标准算.虽然加班时间比劳动局规定的60个小时一月的长.但我们却很高兴.
但现在不可能了.我不可能每月给在读大学的儿子牵一个月400元的生活费了.我不可能每个月给家里跟奶奶生活的女儿及奶奶二人寄三百元的生活费了.我不可能也能存点自己的钱了.张生.你为什么这么傻??我们5000人怎么办???
是的.我们不明白.在你出事的前些天.我们不明白为什么会领到二个月的工资!原来,你心里早有了归宿!
如果有来生!如果来生我还是打工的!我还是愿意帮你打工!
为什么好人不长命?坏人却能发财???
这个世界真不公平啊.
张生.一路走好!

唉...暑假...

沒有假期的暑假 ...

就連聽日都沒有假...

Study Tour Sharing - What do I get?

Study Tour UK 2007, I treat it as a 4 credit hours course which last for at least half a year. Why do I join it and what do I get from it? It's pretty simple to answer the former question. There is something that attracts me so that I join the tour to get it. So, the remaining question is - What do I get from it?

I get duties, I get works; I get experience, I get feeling; I get knowledge, I get exploration. By the way, these are not the most attractive thing to me. So, what is the one? This year, Time Magazine selects Chris Anderson as one of the hundred people who shape our world. He is selected because he makes a Big Idea - the Long Tail. Am I going to get the "Long Tail" in the study tour? Not at all, but something similar. The most attractive thing to me is the idea behind the researches being done by those Computer Scientists. Thus, I join the tour. I want to learn from those ideas.

Indeed, these ideas are the ways of thinking in order to tackle down different challenges. They are not the ideas similar to the "Long Tail", but they are valuable to me as a Computer Science undergraduate. Then, the next question is - What are they?

Let me give some example.

The first idea I learnt from Professor Bob Fisher. If I am going to do an analysis on a pool of data sets which share some similarities, how can I catch the data set with dissimilarity in a fast and efficient way? There are two approaches actually, either observes the changes of data in different sets or finds out how difference between sets of data. The former one is simple but inefficient. It takes account with all data in every set to figure out the difference. The later one was the nugget given by Prof. Fisher. It takes account with the similarity of sets and figure out how much difference between sets. This is a complicated one, but it is efficient.

Another idea I learnt from Professor Sethu Vijayakumar. There are two ways of teaching. Teaches the system to perform a specific task; and teaches the system to learn to perform specific task. The former one is to program the system while the later one is to program the system to learn. Prof. Vijayakumar showed me the capability of teaching a system to learn. This elegant way of teaching is complicated and challenging, but it is the best solution to teach. If I don't want to teach every time, I must teach how to learn.

All in all, what is the philosophy behind these ideas? What is the impression to me?

These ideas are new to me in terms of Computer Science, but not new in other areas. So, why bother to mention? The point is, how can I bring the ideas across different fields. Or, let's put it in this way, how can I links up different things together in order to generate a new combination? One of the methods to generate innovation is - break the boundary and bring across the idea. This is the Big Idea I get from the tour.

I like thinking and I enjoy thinking, although I am not able to links up different things all the time. Thanks to the study tour and the hosts, I know how to bring across things now. It's quite simple. When facing challenge, step backwards and observe the situation. Figure out all the possibilities discreetly and multi-dimensionally. Then, form the solution by joining back the appropriate ones.

Here is a final note as a reminder. When I was leaving London, I was attracted by an advertisement of in the Heathrow airport. "You cannot view from different angle. Because you are not thinking in that angle." Ads by HSBC.

FSE Project is OVER...

This is the end of my first dark month - June and the FSE project is over.

What we did for the project??? around 50MBytes of stuff ...

Here is a brief summary of what the project means to us.

From the point of view of student, this was a great opportunity for us to master a self-governed software development. We setup-ed our road-map, we designed the architecture, we researched for technique, we experimented the tools, and we criticized our artifacts. This is totally different from doing coursework in which this project does not have any guideline given by others.

From the point of view of software developer, this was a disaster for us to do the work with 18 credit hours in each semester. In order to make the development on schedule, we needed to squeeze our time by killing less time, serving less time and buying more time. The project gives us a preview of what FYP is going to be.

From the point of view of project manger, this was a miserable failure for us to do open source development in a tight schedule. We fail to make a workable product, but we do enjoy the process. It is because the process let us experience the pressure from the authority expectation.

At last, from the point of view of open source community member, this was a good starting point in joining the community. We started living in the community when we stepped our first step!

近排常常想著的..

六月, 過了一大半. 近來只有些不知怎的想法..

或者, 是我太天真; 或者, 是我太無能 ... 好像欠了一些人, 又好像連累了一些人, 更像無法領導人.
箇裡原因有誰知, 也許要看三世書... 身子捱壞了, 心靈喪失了, 為何?

Study Tour Sharing - What is Computer Science?

"What is Computer Science?" This is a question that I bear in mind during the study tour. Here is a brief explanation that I learnt from the lecture - "Computer Science is not a kind of Natural Science that studies/discovers the nature. It studies the theoretical foundations of information and computation; and then, applies those researches/studies into our daily life." However, I think Computer Science is much more than this, and hence, one of my objectives is to "discover" a concise meaning to Computer Science for myself.

By the way, how did I achieve the goal? That's trivial and simple - "Ask and Listen"! By participating in the study tour, I earned opportunities to talk to research students, doctors, and even professors. I got direct interactions with these academic professionals. So, what did I got from them? Keep on reading!

The first thing I learnt was "What actually Computer Science is doing?" In order to apply those theories into our life, the simplest way of doing this is "Trial and Error". Professor Bob Fisher taught me an idea, "The nature of carrying a research is just simply try out some ways to achieve the goal and find out the most adaptive and compatible one." For short, "Try out and Find out" and then you make it! So, let me further elaborate on this.

When we get a problem in our daily life and we want to solve it by some mean of efficiency, then using computer is one of the approaches. After we decided the approach to solve the problem, we move onto the next step - find out all the methods that can solve the problem. These methods can be either theoretical or practical. Most likely we need more than one method to tackle down the problem. After that, we try to implement and connect those methods to solve the problem stage by stage. In each stage, we try out methods to see whether they are adaptable and compatible. We find out the most efficient one and use it for the next stage. When we get error in implementing or connecting, we step backward to previous stage and pick another method. All in all, by repeating the "Trial and Error"/"Try out and Find out" cycle, we made it!

The second thing I learnt was "What is the basic requirement of doing Computer Science?" I am not mentioning the academic result in Maths, Physics, etc., but the mental requirement for doing Computer Science. In fact, everyone can do Computer Science. Professor Sethu Vijayakumar taught me another idea, "If you do Computer Science, you must have the passion in doing it. That is the primary driver for doing Science!" By the way, how can we get the passion in doing Computer Science?

Indeed, we do not always have the passion in doing a particular thing at the beginning; but, we can grow up the passion gradually. First of all, we take the "Just Do It" approach. We don't consider whether we like to do the job or we get interest in doing it, but at least we don't hate it. This is the seed of growing up passion. Later on, we get more knowledge, experience, and feeling or even we find interest in doing it. Passion is budding. Afterwards, we would like to know more about it and even want to produce something belongs to it. We get passion!

So far, I talked a lot related to Computer Science. Perhaps, you might ask "Does Study Tour 2007 always talk about Computer Science?" Actually, this study tour did also give me an opportunity to explore the United Kingdom. I learnt some history of it, and I also know some culture of it. There are tones of it! I am not going to talk so much here. Go to the report and Check it out =D

充實! 哈..

今晚, 繼 連續四晚 城大頹飯後... 突有一個想法...

這個 summer 真充實!

朝早番工, 夜晚番lab 守夜 , 星期六日全職 cslab ...
一日24小時 , 8小時休息(連食飯), 16小時工作 ^^ utilization rate 高達 66% .. 達速減肥!

唉.. 心諗.. 點解呢一年, 我o既生活都係咁樣呢...

Jesus!

琴晚同人msn , 問我幾時得閒食飯 , 我只可以答 .. 你晚晚番 cslab 都可以搵到我 ... ( 食canteen喎 =D )

i hv no time to read books, no time to read papers, no time to ream Time ... no time to nds ... what can i do?

blog for uk tour

Day 0 -

yesterday, i spent all day to plan the self-explore. i used many brain juice -o- extremely tired. at night, i started to pack my belongings into luggage. super extremely tired!! d___... when i finished "compaction" on my luggage, i get a G__ D___ GOOD NEWS!! the tripod was still under the table of prj72... my goody pc at proj lab ^^"

so, this morning, when i woke; i brought my a__ back to project lab. a bad news to me, i have had at least 5 meals today -.- 60.5kg (last week) ... 2 meals at home, 2 in airport, and 1 on plane. i think, when i get back from london, i should be somewhere around 62kg.

- - -

Day 1 -

tired !! we leave airport at around 8am and we first settled down ourselves in hotel.

later on, we headed to greenwich. we went by tube. this was the first time for me to travel by tube. however, i dun think it's difficult to travel with.

when we first reached greenwich, we first get lunch. however, something unhappy happened. we noticed that we need to reunion at somewhere we don't know ... G__! at last, we gather together at restaurant and find the way to the reunion point lately. by the way, we got to greenwich observatory! something cool is that the environment near the observatory is extremely relaxing and comfortable. i have long time no walking through a peaceful and relaxing Green Heaven.

after that, we go to the musceum nearby and "take a look". i have no time to go throught everything.. >.< poor!! then we headed by london city center by riding on a boat. that's wonderful!! the breeze is cool and the funny tour guide is superb! finally, we get onto the london "hot dog", the big eye. london, is extremely nice! something new together with something old... evolution ^^"

by the way, why i am tired??

that's because i am the video crew... just like the japan tour, i take video... keeping myself 110% attetion all the time and carrying the tripod most of the time. furthermore, i have a part-time duty... keeping the group to have group photo -o- (part-time pic ^^v)

- - -

Day 2 -

"anything can happen if you let it"

today, we got to 2 universities, 1 is for virtual reality, and the other is for biomedic.

from the vr, i got a clear picture of what is shading (i've no background for CG at all >.< ) moreover, i got a new term - "light field rendering" this rendering method is not rendering the polygon, but the light way itself. that's cool!!

at night, we go to a theater for a musical "mary poppins". it talks about a lady who teach the kids something to belief and behave ... "anything can happen if you let it" Good Story!

- - -

Day 3 -

i hurt my left foot today /_\

no mood to visit although edinburgh is fantastic ... i get a book today ... the gift for myself XD (happy birthday^^ shing)

on the other hand, i am very tired... carrying a heavy baggage all the day ... G__!

- - -

Day 4 -

yesterday, we met Taku... we got a good meal, and a good tour to national gallery and the castle.

today, we go to the university!

in the cricket lab, i got a message "even a cricket is so small, it's already very complex"

after the university visit, i tried my first visit to cathedral! that's extremely wonderful when i first step inside it. i got a "shock" when i take the first look inside!

- - -

Day 5 -

today, i went to so many scenic spots, i enjoy the parks in london very much. the british are putting a wood into a city!! there are birds, fishes, and even wild 松鼠.

at night, i went to covent garden. when i get there, some people are dancing. they enjoy their dance and the audience also. i headed to the market. someone is playing magic! good show! and good night!

(an observation ... difference between chinese and british... whenever there is a street performance, chinese are audience while british are player in the performance. british yell, scream, shout when they are enjoying the performance while chinese do not. british are actually enjoying their participation instead of the performance.)

- - -

Day 6 -

=D food tour.

british, itialian, french, thai, indian, chinese... food in uk are expensive >.< the streets do not have cheap food, so we got food tour in UK XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

today, i went to trafalgar square ... nice ! there was a fashion stage performancein front of the traditional national gallery. Cool! i dunno how to express my feeling ... is that a crossover of old and new ^^?

- - -

Day 7 -

we get to pub tonight^^ food tour ... as told. =D

today, we are in cambridge. a nice place built by colleges. colleges are independent and self-financed. a big difference from other universities all over the world. the city is a bit old but not as old as edinburgh. it's COLD >.< !! buy a hat to make myself warm ^^v

- - -

Day 8 -

this writing is written when i am drinking at the bar of the hotel in london. today, we come back from cambridge. we did take a ride on river cam. i know why mathematical bridge is so called "mathematical bridge" now... that's because the bridge use maths to build with wood without nail and it's designed by Issac Newton. G__!!

moreover, we got to dept of engineering of university of cambridge. we climbed up to the roof in the dept tour =D first time for me to climb up to the roof. (this study tour gave me a lot of "first time")

today, i chatted a lot with prof ip. he's very nice ! we talked about science park, his career, cityu's student difficulties, and machine learning. i like to talk to him as i talk to dr kwok. i learnt a lot from them ^^

besides, i talked about my fyp with my "new friend" - chu. he also talked about his "previous" fyp (fyp few weeks ago -.-") a good idea exchange ^^

(G__! a false alarm break out tonight. some of our teammates were scared, some of them were feeling nothing happened, some of them were still staying in their room, when a fire alarm broke ... i am angry... because some of them said they need to get back their belongings while some of them brought along their souvenir down to the ground ... -.-) nothing much to say, good night!

- - -

Day 9 -

backed to HK. get back cs lab to return the heavy stuff and to organize the post-tour video stuff. and writing the blog ... =D

my weight ... 60Kg.

學期完了.

這個五月, 彷彿沒有寫BLOG似的 -O-" 考試吧...

今天, 是最後一日考試, 亦都意味著一個學期的完結, 正好藉此回看這一個SEM o既轉變.
還記得 上一個SEM , 我還在跟朋友說, 將來我要讀 哲學 MASTER ... 因為我喜歡思考的感覺.

但 最近, 我常跟朋友說 , 我要 讀 MPhil 電腦 , 因為我發覺自己開始 熱愛 上 CS.

這個轉變從何而來, 我不知道; 只知道自己愈讀得CS COURSE 多, 就愈想了解多一點, 愈想嘗試多一點, 什至想 貢獻上什麼 ... 傻了XDDDDDDDDDDD

這一個SEM , 我實在學多了, 知多了 , 亦多 看多了一些這個世界
但我覺得自己開始老了 ... 開始不能一整天的看書 ... 而且 ... 肥了 !!!

----

後記 ..
今天考完試, 跟同學仔仔女女 計劃去天水圍 轉轉下 + 游游水 ... 點知 ... 去到半路 , 落起大雨 >.< 失望!! 起初以為, 我們這一天, 完了 ... 後尾 去到 屯門 , 原來先係 這一天的開始 !! 我們一群 "鄉下仔仔女女" ... 都市人... 一下子去到的城外地方 ... 變晒自由行 XDDDDD 成班傻仔傻女... 遊輕鐵河 玩左 成半個鐘 ... 仲要 唔識路 亂咁行, 又半個鐘 ... 唉 ... 大鄉里!! 跟住人群行, 唔會變傻仔 XD !!!!!!!!!!!! 到最後 ... 去左 "西安" 拾下拾下 XD ... 食左 成兩個鐘 ... 好好味呀 >,< 哈哈!!

EXCELLENT !!!

最新記錄 ... 指針直達 60.5Kg

一錯 ... 再錯 ...

start from the 1st wk of this semester ... MCV pattern in my mind like this ...

USER --> VIEW --> CONTROLLER --> MODEL .

user interacts with the view and invoke the controller to make changes to model ...

BUT ... in this week ... i "awake" ...

view and controller observe the changes of the model to make corresponding changes ...

that says ...

1. user interacts with the view and the state of the view changes (this fires an event... to the controller)
2. controller takes corresponding action to invoke the model to update its state
3. model notifies the view and controller to update their information about the model
4. done. XD

this is not a good article, don't read

don't read, this is not a good article ... harm to u ...

有人話 , 對人好即係對自己殘忍; 用自己的時間花在別人身上, 拿屎上身, 是愚蠢行為...

雖然我唔完全同意呢句說話; 但 呢句說話有 一定的道理 ..

有些時候, 真的後悔 自己 做了一些事 ... 花了時間在一些 不應該由我做 的事上 ..

week13...

This is the morning of week13... the last week of this semester.

In this morning, I read Time when I am having breakfast.. And, Time is telling me that Asian fathers are spending too less time to their children because they need to work for long hours.

I meditate myself as a student after the reading ... I find myself got a BIG FAILURE in this semester... I lost so many promises to others, and even I lost promise to myself.

In this semester, I work as a "full-time" student ... from 9 to 23 day by day.. I don't know why I need to spend so much hours on my studying stuff. I tried ask my classmate at the early of the semester (he can play nds and watch youtube in this semester... god-.-"), "why you can have so much time to kill...? But I find myself have no time to kill..." He answered - "you need to ask yourself why".

Today, I get the answer ...
1) I serve too much time on others
2) I kill too much time because I worked with stupid way
3) I am not able to buy time from others

So, how can I solve the problem? I do not have a detail plan yet ... But, I know I won't allow this failure happen again! damn!

月頭的project lab .. 不再

今日o既 project lab , 只有小貓三四隻..

這 個月 ... 往往 都是 project lab 的 旺季 與 淡季 ...

月頭 開始多人
月中 人頭湧湧
月尾 小貓三四

.. 06-07 fyp is over ..
project lab 只剩下 住hall o既 小貓 ...


仲有兩年 .. 兩年之後, 我又到底會唔會 repeat 呢個 cycle 呢 ... full-time student =D

遺忘已久的.. 感覺

yesterday, i went to a section of fyp present..

when i entered the room, the atmosphere is extremely silent. when i sit there, i start to begin nervous. i don't know why i get this feeling. the nervous start from my heart to my whole body. 震到入心 >.<
i lost this feeling many years ago, but i got it back yesterday ...

A summary of "51 things we can do to save the environment"

just finished the summary..

51 things we can do to save the environment, from time April 9, 2007

ref - http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/environment/

If you want to give a hand to the Earth, spread this message and take action!

1. Turn food into fuel - new technology to use corn to produce ethanol as fuel

2. Get blueprints for a green house - when you are going to a new home, get a blueprint for the new green house

3. Change your lightbulbs - change old bulbs to LEDs at your home

4. Light up your city - change old bulbs in the city to LEDs

5. Pay the carbon tax - plan to follow Kyoto Protocol ... either cap-and-trade or pay tax for CO2

6. Ditch the McMansion - live in a small house instead of a big one which waste energy

7. Hang up a clothesline - try to hang your clothes instead of using the dryer

8. Give new life to your old fleece - recycle your old clothes

9. Build a skyscraper - build a new architect with an energy-saving design

10. Turn up the geothermal - use the energy from the deep underground

11. Take another look at vintage clothes - exchange your clothes with friend instead of buying new all the time

12. Capture the carbon - pump the CO2 down to the ground or the sear

13. Let employees work close to home - set up multiple work places around the metro

14. Ride the bus - ride on public instead of private car

15. Move to a high-rise - live near the town center, walk instead of driving all the time

16. Pay your bills online - use the power of Internet, save papers

17. Open a window - enjoy the natural wind instead of the air conditioner

18. Ask the experts for an energy audit of your home - redesign your home to an energy-saving environment

19. Buy green power, at home or away - try to move to places that provide energy by the nature

20. Check the label - when purchasing new electronics, keep checking the label and buy a energy-save machine

21. Cozy up to your water heater - replace your old water heater by a new energy-save one

22. Skip the steak - try not to eat so much steak, the meat industry is making so much CO2

23. Copy California - cut the CO2 emission as California

24. Just say no to plastic bags - try not to use plastic bags when shopping and recycle the bag as most as you can

25. Support your local farmer - buy food from local provider so that you save the food shipping CO2 emission

26. Plant a bamboo fence - bamboo is fast growing plant which can absorb CO2 in large amount

27. Straighten up and fly right - investigate whether it is possible to make flight fly in a straight line instead of turning around all the time

28. Have a green wedding - celebrate the wedding nearby, save the CO2 emission from traveling

29. Remove the tie - don’t be silly that making yourself HOT with a suit in summer

30. Shut off your computer - screen saver is not actually saving power, shut it down if you are not using it

31. Wear green eye shadow - makeup with eco-friendly product

32. Kill the lights at quitting time - turn off everything in your office when no one is there

33. Rearrange the heavens and the earth - use sci-fi methods to solve the problem

34. Rake in the fall colors - don’t burn the falling leaves

35. End the paper chase - buy recycle paper, folks

36. Play the market - play around the cap-and-trade, reduce the carbon emission and trade the quota to others with earning money

37. Think outside the packaging - reduce the amount of packaging of a product

38. Trade carbon for capital - earns carbon emission credit by joining the energy-efficient projects in the developing world

39. Make your garden grow - plant plants to absorb CO2

40. Get a carbon budget - cap-and-trade scheme to individually person all over the world

41. Fill’er up with passengers - if you drive your own car, try making all seat occupied by a person instead of empty-ness

42. Pay for your carbon sins - contribute some money to clean-energy projects, pollution control, tree plating and forest conservation

43. Move to London’s new green zone - join the “zero-carbon housing development”

44. Check your tires - use hybrid engine for your car if possible, if not, tune-up the engine and keep tires properly inflated

45. Make one right turn after another - drive your car with minimum idle time for waiting a turn

46. Plant a tree in the tropics - plant forest instead of destructing the forest

47. If you must burn coal, do it right - use co-generating plants so that excess heat is also used

48. Drive green on the scenic route - rent a eco-friendly car on vacation

49. Set a higher standard - set a higher standard for power plant

50. Be aggressive about passive - live in a house with passive energy recycling added

51. Consume less, share more, live simply - Live simply, meditate, consume less, think more, and to share resources if possible

My English is not good, if there is something wrong in the summary, i apologize. Go back to time.com to take the original article.

天, 熱了

今日食tea果時 , 無神神吹水吹到 ... 五十年之後, 到底會係點..?

當時我心諗.. 天氣會愈來愈熱... (reason? time April 9,2007 is talking about global warming)

到夜晚番到屋企 .. 鏗鏘集 講 ... global warming ...

Ocean Park advertisement - Global Warming ..

天, 熱了...

一個普普通通, 平平凡凡 的我, 對 Global warming 可以做乜??

advice from time ... 51 things we can do to save the environment..
http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/environment/

spend some time and read it ... folks..

a good news , and a bad news to me...

today, when i read the news from Internet, I am excited in a specific news ...

Google Developer Day 2007 is Announced !!!
31/5/2007 ... the day for the Google Dev Team to make a good SHOW all over the world!!

Beijing, Tokyo, US-Googleplex, London...

Google Dev Team is going to have a good show on the day ^^

However, i'm having a flight from London to Hong Kong on 31/5/2007... just finished the 10 day tour to UK /_\"

I go to London and I miss the Google show... bad news to me... god >.<

失而復得的感覺...

今日一番lab , 就有好消息, 我搵番枝筆喇 >.<

仲有呀 ... 唔只 得番枝筆 .... 仲有 一大堆工作 ... 又殺到埋身喇 XD

一波未停, 一波又起 ... Q_Q

關關難過關關過 ... 殺呀 !!!!!!!!

一直在身邊的, 總不懂去珍惜, 失去了, 怎樣?

一直在身邊的, 總不懂去珍惜, 失去了, 怎樣?

失去的, 不是一個人 ... 而是一件死物 -o-...

陪我8年有多 o既 鉛蕊筆 ... 唔見左 !!!! 吼 !!!!!

讀書人唔可以無筆 /_\ ... 就是一個大意, 一個不留神 ... 它便離我而去 ....

唉...

i use my pen to make draft, and my idea is presented by draft ...
my ideas come from draft...

but, i lost my pen, i lost my drafting tool... i lost my idea .... god !!!

The Project Lab...

Just visited flysforum... a funny post is noticed ...

wt are the FYP guys doing these days and planned to do in easter^^?

April is the month of the deadline of FYP , include report and a demo ...

The FYP guys are hurrying in project lab these days ...
i saw someone is leisure-ing around the lab, and someone is working hard in the lab.

i'm the one who only need not to hv FYP yet in the lab ...
but , i can feel their stress .

Their eyes go fall asleep. Their brains awake.

next month... or i should say next week , is the easter. Holiday??? or Bonus working day???
for me , of course a Bonus !

although i do not hv much works as the FYP guys, it is the time for me to "observe" how the guys work on fyp.


so ... my plan like this ... April - May ... act back a hidden guy in CS ... and live in project lab! (i expose too much already ...)

fyp? an early start?

i'm now starting my fyp , although i'm in year2 only.

i made my plan, and i found myself will not hv much time to make a wonderful fyp.

so, i start early...

i made a blog for it, but i won't post it here. seek for it ~ man

辛苦搵黎志在食

唉 ... 好多日無食好野喇 ...

今日 ... 出到旺角 ... 都無緣 食 板前 >.<
辛苦搵黎志在食 ... 做野做得咁辛苦... 食都唔可以食餐好 ... 唉....


不過, 今日都試左個 肥牛定食 , 熱就 very good ; 凍就 ... 想起板前 ... orz


算啦 ... 擲日食好野 !!!!

GOD DAMN Psychologist

Just have a de-briefing of Belbin test ... I find myself is "discovered" by the psychologist ...

What I am thinking is What they are saying ... they god damn look into my mind !!

Here, I should make a thanks to the test so that I can confirm who am I... BUT, they are god damn clever .... isn't it a disaster that someone look into ur mind???

holy... an accurate test ...

frustrating ...

just googled ...

found a book ... a free book recommended by a professor from HKUST ...

compare to CityU professor ... should i say, HKUST is advanced course with advanced book ... or CityU is beginner course with a beginner book ...


OMG !!

universities are different ...

a mentor??

tonight , i feel like a mentor ...

i am giving advices to others all over the night , from junior, peer, to senior ...

i find myself is giving advice, but not a concrete one. i hope my advice can make them healed, but not suffered.
and, i hope they will take my advice.

i dunno whether my ideas can help, but at least not to harm.

actually, i think i'm not a good mentor/adviser at this moment. i can only give academic support to others right now. but, i tried to give mental support tonight.

although i'm not giving a good mental support to them, i'm glad that they seek my help.

perhaps, the next thing i'm going to do is to learn to give concrete advice with no harm at least.

can i be a 'mentor'? god knows.

my target??

this night, dinning with friends ... again .... long time no get back home for dinner ...

a friend ask me, why my target in university had changed from gpa to "not-gpa" ...

actually, i dunno... perhaps, i think that i already found why i entered the university. the picture is clear to me... and i sure the picture is no longer gpa ...

一個問題

昨夜, 有人問我 點解我比上一年還要更主動、更活躍, 當時我想不到答案, 只是輕輕的帶過便算.


當我躺在床, 動動腦, 我得到答案.

a君與b君 同是賽跑高手, 兩位由起步到100米的時間都是9秒9.
槍聲一響, a君隨即起步, b君慢了 0.01秒才起步.
a君勝了比賽, b君輸了0.01秒.

現在, 在此回答說, 不我願當b君.

What's Next?

After we get into the new millennium, there are many things happened. Those things make the World changed.

There are several things shocked the World and still changing the World. For example, the War in Iraq - US troops are pinned in the area of Iraq. This war, break the peace but bring something new to the World . The Web 2.0. (Will Iran be the next place to Blog?)

US soldiers blog the war by words and cap the war by video. Blogs and YouTube get much more attention due to the war.

Despite this, there are many other new things to the World. For example, the Virtual Community like SecondLife and the next generation wireless communication technology WiMAX. Businessmen are focusing on these new comers of the World. No one sure how these new comers will affect the World.

So, What's Next? What's the new comer Next ?

的士...

的士 ... 加價不行 , 減價不行 ...


不改變 ... 白牌,巴士,小巴,鐵路, ... 八折 ... 又不行

這行業 ... 不行

團年 , 開年

眾所周知, 年尾團年, 年頭開年 ...

但係, 古時農家窮困, 究竟有無可能在段段數日間, 攪兩餐 "大獲飯" 呢 ??

究竟, 這兩餐是 生意人的玩意 , 還是傳統 ?? 古時是不是 得一餐 要 殺雞殺鴨呢 ??

元旦有倒數 ... 這是西方傳統 ...
現在 就 什麼都倒數 ... 生意人的玩意 ...

通了

曾生今早的一課, 令我想通了...

命於業兮悲情人。
業隨身兮留名客。

冤氣...

不知怎的 ... 近這一兩個星期... 冤氣大了很多 ...

不是冤天, 不是冤地, 冤自己而已..

難道, 十四號真的這麼大影響?? 還是 什麼 在影響...

今天, 上了很好的一課

如題: 今天, 上了很好的一課..

今天大早, 到了城大聽 曾仲榮 先生 的一席話, 上了一個了解人性的課堂, 實在大有所得.

曾生 的第一番說話, 已經道出了一個影響我很久的問題.. 「人若過度的追求, 只會令人迷失」為什麼追求、為何追求等問題, 常常在我心底浮出; 怎麼追求、追求什麼, 又是另一問題.

曾生 透過 曾蔭權的經歷, 讓我知道怎樣回答自己的問題.

為什麼追求、追求些什麼甚至怎樣追求, 這所有問題的答案, 只有問自己才會知道. 每個人表面上追求著一點什麼的物質, 其實背後是有一種心理渴求. 物質追求不是人的最大驅動力; 心理的渴求才是影響最大、最深遠的一環.

以往的我, 不明白這道理, 只懂一值的在追求, 追求的以為是物質... 因此, 我往往跌入自我迷失的境地. 為什麼追求、追求些什麼, 這些問號往往在腦海浮現. 每當我迷失到一個境地的時候, 往往是聽了一些說話而令我找回方向. 因此, 我才會成為第二種人.

今天, 我知道了自己為何追求, 追求什麼, 還有怎樣追求 ... 實在大快人心 !!

為何追求、追求什麼 不會在這裡說, 怎樣追求 ?? 借用曾生的說話就會明白 ...
「量大福自大, 機深禍更深」因果報應, 自會明白.

希望各位可以成為第一種人.

最近發現的三類人

最近, 發現了三類不同的人..

一, 心裡那團火, 不會因任何"霧水"而撲熄的人
二, 心裡那團火, 會因一些"霧水"而被撲滅; 期後卻會被一些事物重燃心火
三, 心裡只有一團"霧水", 永不消散

第一類人, 懂得在"霧水"積聚時, 先把"霧水"抺去, 火不會因而熄滅..

第二類人是最為普遍的. 這類人, 很多時會因一些零碎事, 令心火熄滅. 又或者, 這類人不懂抺去那一點兒的"霧水".. 而那一點兒的"霧水", 卻能令這類人失魂落魄..

第三類人, 只懂埋怨, 不願接受現實..

我, 是第二類人, 你呢?

世界是平的, 沒有任何人在低處, 亦沒有任何人在高處; 只有走在前端的人及跟在尾後的人. 不斷加快腳步向前走, 方為人尚人..

拎書熱

今早, 城大的圖書館門口開始大排長龍, 何解??

原來有書派 ...

The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman

專業 by Kenichi Ohmae

Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

築夢的人by高大威

今早是小弟入城大以來, 第一次見圖書館咁多人排隊 ... 究竟這群人, 是不是因為想看書而拎書, 還是想拎書而拎書 ??

小弟 拎了本 專業 ... 應該農曆年前可以看完吧 ^^

衛星落下了

一個人造衛星, 數天前被擊毀了 ..

這是我國的一個氣象衛星 ... 被我國的遠程導彈 一 hit KO..

究竟是示威? 是清垃圾? 還是真的試射??

天知曉

負責

讀書 , 書讀了是自己的 , 要對自己負責 ..
工作 , 工作是替人辦的 , 對別人負責 ..

那麼 , 對自己負責 還是 對別人負責 緊要些 ?


書讀得不好 , 即對自己不好 ; 工作辦得不好 , 也對自己不好 (別人會罵吧..)

那 工作 得好 , 別人不罵 , 亦對自己好 .

若 二選一 , 魚與熊掌 .. 必有一失 ; 看來 , 對別人負責 比 只對自己負責 緊要一點吧 ..

但假若 對別人負責 會對自己不負責 , 那又怎麼辦 ???

某一愛情小說 (三)

近幾天工作得十分悶, 趁著今天是星期天, 蛇一蛇, 拿回那愛情小說看了起來.

前一 post : http://mrkschan.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_archive.html

... 前一post說到, 他心淡了起來 ...
之後怎樣??

他雖然很失望, 但心裡仍然給自己一個又一個的藉口 ...
「病了 ... 她怎知道?」
「她在忙著些什麼吧...」
結果, 他又一次的輸給自己; 撥電找她, 約她去紅館看節目 (當然他真正目的是問個明白啦)

到了看節目的那一天, 當他去到 他跟她 相約的會面地點, 他第一個感覺就是... 她心裡好像有了一個人, 但這人不是他... 她正含羞的通電.
就是這樣, 他心底冒出一個非常負面的思想 - 她不是忙著什麼, 而是跟別的在一起; 病了, 又如何!? 又那會理會 !?

他真的不知道應不應該跟她一起去紅館. 可是, 藉口又來了 ... 「她只是跟友好的朋友通電吧」... lol(不知說他是樂觀, 還是他愚蠢)

接著, 他便跟她去了紅館.

入場前, 他不知是不是膽生毛, 突然鼓起勇氣, 開口問了她... 「前一排你是不是很忙? 為什麼不連絡連絡?」 她苦起面子答著... 「前一排病倒了, 又有什麼要忙碌忙碌」
他聽了, 心頭突然雀躍起來, 好像是心裡的枷鎖被解開了一樣... (-人- 書是這樣的誇張) 他接著問她... 「那, 你病 好了點嗎?」 她說 「嗯, 好了」 他聽到之後, 當然是心情更好.

她跟他便走到場館裡看節目.
當節目完了, 他送她回家. 他在途中, 跟她傾談得頗開心. 談笑間, 他說了一句說話. 就是這句話, 開始改變了他與她的關係. 「我最近不知怎的, 不時會想起你, 掛著你...」 她聽了, 感覺是他在說笑似的. 當然, 他是認真的... 她不知心裡想著什麼, 可能真的當他說笑而已, 可能心裡有了另一人... 她沒有認真的回應他, 只是敷衍了他, 當沒聽過一樣.

如是者, 又過了數天.
這數天, 他自動的 IM 她, 但她不是敷衍他一兩句, 便是不回應他.
他起初不覺得有什麼問題... 但時間一日一日的過去.
情況仍然是這樣... 他好像在她心中不佔什麼席位似的.
負面思想 , 又來了 ...
「她是不是又忙著?」 「她是不是又病倒?」 「她... 跟別人在一起... 她... 有男朋友了... 」

當然, 他不知道真正的答案.

事實上, 答案... 他知道, 在她心裡 ...
他心血來潮, 撥了電話給她, 說著有些什麼要跟她說... 她覺得奇奇怪怪的, 剛好她快要考試, 約他一起溫習也不錯. 她應約了.

到了約會的那一天, 他為了找藉口跟她閒談, 他便買了些糖水跟她一起吃. 當然, 有東西吃, dead air 時間自然短一些...
她吃的時候, 說著要明天跟他一起溫習, 他口爽爽的答應了. 再過一會, 他開始入正題...
「你 ... 是不是有男朋友了 ... ? 是不是有了喜歡的人?」 她... 她沈默了一秒. 她回答「我也不知道... 好像是吧 ... 」當然, 他知道, 她心中的那個人, 暫時不會是他 ... 他的心好像受了一下重撃似的...(還要是 5 hit combo) 只好繼續吃糖水 ... 事實上, 以上的過程不超過 七秒鐘 . 當第八秒來臨, 他又開口 ... 「夜了, 我還是要早點回家」 她好像沒有感覺到些什麼, 又或者, 她心裡真的沒有想過他. 他走了, 他只是給她一個 sms ... 「給我一點時間, 明天找你溫習」 ... 接著他關了手電.

書裡這樣寫 , sms 的第一句, 是他的心底話 , 而第二句, 卻不是他的意願 ... 說到底.. 他就像被她拒絕了一樣, 他又怎麼可以當沒有事情發生 ??? 那他又為什麼要說跟他一起溫習?? 他可能覺得, 不是情人, 還是朋友這說話吧 ... 又或者, 他不想 失約於別人 .

結果, 他當夜失眠了一整晚 , 睡了不超過五分鐘.

他只好帶著熊貓眼找她溫習... 他無論是理性上, 或是感性上, 都不想跟她在這一天溫習. 不過, 他真的不願意 失約於別人 .

書, 便平平淡淡的溫完, 他亦平平淡淡的回家. 當然是失魂落魄的走回家...

一切一切, 他們兩的關係好像又走回他們剛相識似的, 但他心裡卻多了一個烙印.

故事完了 ...

立時想到 ... 古巨基的 ... 愛得太遲.

會不會有續集? 只好期待作者.